A Tale of the Unexpected!

I wrote this tale a few years ago after Matt and I had been on a Camping trip to Edale, Derbyshire in The Peak District National Park. The trip made me laugh and writing the story after made me laugh too! I posted it as an album on Facebook at the time and got a few compliments on it, so I thought it would be worth sharing again on here. Believe it or not most of it is based on the conversations we had whilst on our adventure in the hills. Hopefully you'll enjoy as much as I did.

Into the bowels of hell - Nellie & Matt Mong's Edale Adventure.

Loosely based upon a completely untrue story.
Nellie and Matt Mong's Hunt for the legendary Edale Were-Bear.
A terrifying tale of absolute cowardice.

Base camp at Fieldhead, the nerve centre of the whole expedition.

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We set forth to try and capture the legendary and elusive were-bear.
Unfortunately Matt Mong couldn't help getting distracted by the posibility of a troll under the packhorse bridge; either that or he was touting for a bit of bum fun with passing ramblers! oo-er! 

I was seconded for guard duty at the Grindsbrook Clough staging post...

... Matt Mong, however, had other things on his mind! (I don't think it was lunch either; we had taken the precaution of packing some sandwiches)...

... We faced a long and dangerous journey up Grindsbrook Clough into the unknown badlands; the lair of the Were-Bear!...

... Our path to glory was beset with death-defying obstacles; here we luckily managed to circumnavigate the raging torrent. Phew!...

... The treacherous climb toward the Foxholes was devilishly difficult; one slip of the foot could have resulted in a terrifying plunge to our doom or even a twisted ankle...

... Looking back was like looking from here to eternity; we had covered much ground on our ascent to the summit...

... Me and t'mong on t'moo-er... We fancied a pint but there was no sign of the 'Slaughtered Lamb'.
Had we strayed in to the beasts back yard, as it were?...

... The peat bog crevices. The preferred route of our deadly foe, we decided to stick to the high ground...

DA... DA... DAAAAA!!!
This very sight struck fear into our hearts; had we discovered our first clue in our search for the mythical beast?...

... The perfect ambush point for a cunning adversary; we approached with caution.
It turned out to be a safe haven so we rested awhile and enjoyed a well deserved drink of pop! ...

... Some time later... Hopelessly lost on the Edale Moor, our only hope of santuary was the fabled 'Chucky Egg Rock', so named by the locals because it is said to be the ancient fossil of a giant chicken.
Legend has it that 'Chucky' will rise again and defend to the death the lives of ramblers under attack from the fearsome bear.
The defender and patron saint of the 'Were-Hunters', sanctuary indeed, Phew again! ...

... Safely under the wing of our saviour we felt re-invigorated; so much so that Mong thought he would try to awaken Chucky with some cunning ancient chinese massage techniques.
Today was not the day for a resurrection though, we took it as a good omen and hoped that we wouldn't come under attack later in the day. ...

... As we began our descent into 'The valley of death' (Crowden Clough) I spotted, perched upon a rocky outcrop and straight from the pages of 'Sinbad', a blood curdling apparition. The Eagle of Stone.
Luckily we managed to slither by unnoticed or we might have been having another stab at those massage techniques! ...

... Yet again we were confronted by thundering waters; how we ever manged the biblical six foot leap I'll never know. But manage we did.
We took it as yet another good omen, our confidence was growing with every hurdle we overcame. Surely the Were-Bear was no match for us now. ...

... As we soldiered on we stumbled upon what could only be 'The Petrified Tree'. We froze in horror, there was no turning back now. An old woman in the village had told us of this so called landmark; we were in Were-Bear territory at long last.
You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy, we approached with caution.

... ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!!!!

Was this it?...

Were we about to meet our maker?...

The murderous Were-Bear lunged forward to launch a viscious attack upon me and the mong.

What happened next I shall never forget and will go down as one of the greatest acts of bravery in the history of mankind ...

... Matt Mong selflessly, and without hesitation, confronted the slathering beast and effected with immediate consequence ... A Citizens Arrest.

With the beast safely under our jurisdiction the people of the Vale of Edale can once again sleep easy in their beds.
Unfortunately with Matt 'Mong' Haynes still at large the poor old sheep can't live with the same reassurance.
Oh well, can't win 'em all.